The Bigger Picture

Have you ever considered your place in the universe? Have you ever wondered why you're in your own town, your own state, your own country? Or what you're doing on this spinning blue marble in the middle of the sparkling darkness? What are you doing here?

When I see pictures that show the size of the world, the size of my universe; when I swim in the ocean; when I hike in the mountains; when I look in my daughter's eyes - I sometimes feel small. Sometimes the beauty overwhelms me and I feel insignificant... powerless. I wonder at my place on this planet and I lose myself in the stars. Do you feel that way too? I'm not sure it would make me feel better or worse to know that you did.

But there was this day. A single day. A single moment really. A moment I will never forget. The day I joined with the Universe and became One with all Creation. It changed my life.

I was rafting down the Green River. I had been on the river several days; it was hot and sweaty work. The river forks and the pilots decided to take a quick trip up and around. We had a choice to stay with the rafts or float down the river ourselves. Everyone went with the boats. Everyone but me. I stayed and floated. I held on to my life vest and bailed out the side and watched the boats move away into the distance – leaving me alone.

I lay down in the arms of the cool river and floated. I let my mind wander and drift with the current. I watched the warm blue sky float by. I watched the red rock move past me as if of its own accord - as if I were laying on the banks and the world was moving around me. My arms and legs stretched out into the cool water became weightless and formless. I couldn’t discern where my arms ended and the water began. I didn’t want to. I was the center of everything. I was nothing at all. And for a moment, just one perfect moment, I lost sight of my own body. It was as if my body and the river joined.

The tributaries come from the mountains and join this river; this river leads to the ocean. The ocean feeds the clouds, and the clouds form the rivers from the mountains. Everything is connected and I was part of it all. For that moment my mind joined with something greater - something as enormous as the universe and as small as my soul. I knew that I mattered. I knew that I was a piece of something amazing and miraculous.

Just this summer I learned that Buddhists have a term for this - kensho. It means a glimpse into something bigger than yourself; a peak behind the curtain of enlightenment; a chance to view your own place in the larger picture. Kensho. I like the term.

I hope you get the chance to experience something bigger than you. Don't get lost in it; do enjoy it. See it for what it is, a chance to glimpse your place in the big picture. Even if you only see your place in your own town, it makes a difference. You can make a difference.

-originally published in Crossroads, by Russ McKell